Under the Harvest Moon

Tonight is the harvest moon. Unfortunately, the clouds and rain prevent the bright full moon to make any impression on the Eastern Kentucky sky.

Still, every year on this night I am reminded of my favorite poem by Carl Sandberg. When I was twelve, I bought a little pocket book of love poems at a gift shop while on vacation with my family. I suppose even then I was attempting to fuel the hopeless romantic within. Under the Harvest Moon was my favorite of the collection, and I have never forgotten it.


Under the Harvest Moon
When the soft silver
Drips shimmering
Over the garden nights,
Death, the gray mocker,
Comes and whispers to you
As a beautiful friend
Who remembers.

Under the summer roses
When the flagrant crimson
Lurks in the dusk
Of the wild red leaves,
Love, with little hands,
Comes and touches you
With a thousand memories,
And asks you
Beautiful, unanswerable questions.

of silver linings and frappucinos...

It's been a quiet day here at the shop. I spend my time running errands (it seems every day we discover something else we need) reading, and periodically checking Facebook. We've had a bit of business over the past week, and once all those computers are repaired and ready to go, we will at least have earned the overhead to keep the doors open. I've been back and forth with my worries, one day in panic mode, and the next seeing the silver lining behind every cloud. Today is a silver lining day :)

Regardless of how this business venture turns out, opening the shop has fueled in me a new-found appreciation for Jackson and it's residents. Every day someone pops their head in the door to say "hello" and wish us luck. I can't even walk down the street to my vehicle without someone nodding or saying, "howdy" and "love this weather" - all from complete strangers. I love it! Yes, there are some very nice people in Lexington, but there is a charming openness to the people in this area, and it only helps to solidify my decision to move here.

Of course, all would be perfect if there were only a Starbucks or Seattle's Best! Alas, Jackson seems to be content with their Cozy Corner, Bee Happy's, and White Flash. I'm sure the kind-faced old men sipping black coffee and laughing around old diner style tables, could care less about caramel or pumpkin spice frappucinos.


Small town hospitality, home cookin', and a simple cup-o-joe are good enough for them... and for the first time in my life, they are good enough for me too!


UDDATE: Bee Happy's bit the dust, and is no longer open to the public. Boooo! Thank goodness Cozy Corner still has the most dee-lish chicken strip salad!

Thank you for calling The Computer Mechanic!

Don't worry, I'm not planning on presenting a long, boring explanation as to why I continue to attempt the blogging thing, but then abandon it after two or three posts. I honestly have no excuse.

I'm here now, and that's all that counts, right??

I am currently sitting at the front desk of The Computer Mechanic, fiending for some caffeine after a restless night of sleep. I suppose you would peg me as a glorified secretary, and I honestly have no problem with that title. Besides, I am the owner! Yes, myself and Steven have started a new adventure, and it's been such a blessing making one of his dreams turn into a reality. Everything sorta fell into place over a month's time, and we had to make a quick decision as to whether we should wait another year, or go ahead and snag the most perfect location ever for a business in Jackson. We knew we were taking a huge risk going forward with the business, but it also seemed like such a shame to wait and lose the rental space to someone else.

So, here we are, our 5th day open for business, hoping and praying that as the word (or a mass outbreak of computer viruses) spreads, people will come pouring in with all their PC woes!

But for now, it's been pretty quiet 'round here. I can't help but be nervous, and it doesn't help that everyone around us is expecting us to fail. No one has directly come out and said as much, but the constant questions and worrisome glances tells me that both our families (Steven's especially) have absolutely no faith that we will make it. It's not that they want us to fail... they simply already believe that we will.

I want to prove them wrong more than anything in the world!

Fingers (and toes) crossed...

workin' 9 to 5 ... do i really wanna?

I remember times when I felt as though I was trudging through life, dragging my feet so they shoveled deep into the earth, making my journey even more difficult.

Now I sorta feel like I'm floating... my feet not even touching the ground. The weeks seem to be flying by, and as crazy as it seems, I seem to be losing touch with the fighter, leader, and over-achiever within myself. Yes, the load on my back is much lighter than in days past, but life seems so dull without a goal in my sights.

I know it stems from being without permanent employment for so long... I'm a person who thrives on some type of challenge. Sure, I'll complain with the best of 'em, but nothing can top that sense of accomplishment when you've completed a task, and done so to the best of your ability.

It's time to light a fire under my arse, and really start digging again for viable employment. Not to say that I have not been trying at all, but my heart and energy have been lacking in the quest.

Of course, I refuse to return to the work lifestyle I maintained at Kirkland's... it sucked the life out of me, and deeply affected my relationships with family and friends outside of the store. No job will ever be more important than time spent with those I love... all the money in the world can't pay for missing out on memories.

I learned that the hard way...

quick update from the hills...

I've been at Steven's friend's house for a couple of hours devouring as much internet as I can. Unfortunately, most of the time has been spent searching for plane tickets to Mississippi next week for Holly's wedding. Turns out my poor van seems to be developing problems, and I don't trust it to make the 10 hour trip. So, to the skies we go!

Steven's grandfather passed away last Tuesday, and at the same time I was assaulted by a vicious stomach bug. It was a very long and difficult week, and I still can't believe Papaw Aaron is gone. But, I am feeling much better, and Steven and his family are doing very well considering...

The trip to Cleveland is now happening this Thursday. It's going to be an interesting ride with Steven's mom and dad. They are a hoot sometimes! Soon after we return I'll be back in LexVegas for a day and then it's south of the Mason Dixon. It's gonna be very busy for me until I return from Mississippi on the 25th, but I am looking forward to visiting with Holly and just getting away for awhile.

Maybe when I get back internet at the home-front will be up and running (fingers crossed!!!)

Now it's time to tear my fingers away from the keyboard and head back down the curvy road to my country home...

the land that high-speed forgot.

I am heading back to the land of dial-up internet, which means my time online will be kept at a minimum. I have no patience for page loading speeds slower than a mary jane smokin' snail.

We are planning on installing satellite internet ASAP... which claims to be high-speed, but compared to dsl and broadband it does not deserve the title. Still, it's several notches above dial-up, and will feed my internet addiction fairly well.

Until then (within the next couple of weeks), my blog may be neglected somewhat... if not completely. It all depends on my mood and patience level.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Tonight is the BIG GAME against UCONN. So, being the hardcore UK fan that I am... it would not be appropriate to end this post without a mighty...

C-A-T-S CATS CATS CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!

LET'S GO WILDCATS (CLAP. CLAP. CLAP-CLAP-CLAP)

headed north...

Steven has an appointment at the Cleveland Clinic on Monday. We're driving up Sunday and staying the night. It's not the first time we've headed to the land of Drew Carey and the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame, but hopefully this time it won't be snowing, therefore the street signs won't be covered with snow, and we won't get lost ;)

I am nervous. I think Steven is too. Most times I try to not think about his condition and how much he has to struggle on a daily basis. Even today, I fought back tears when talking with my mom about how much worse he has gotten. Plus, I don't want him to see my cry or worry about him. He always looks to me for assurance, and I never want to add any extra stress or concern to the situation.

I'll never forget the first time I saw Steven... he had conveniently "forgotten" to tell me about his leg and awkward limp, and I couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable. But, after a few minutes of his charming grin and happy-go-lucky demeanor, his limp faded into the background and I became enamored.

Even with his disability, he has always managed to get around fairly well, and usually refused to utilize a cane. Physical therapy helped promote strength in his legs, and was a weekly routine. Years went by, and things seemed to be going well in regards to his health.

But, a year ago things began to change. Little by little he started to struggle to find his balance, and was experiencing more and more pain in his legs. Physical therapy wasn't working anymore. His cane became his lifeline, and by the time fall arrived he was unable to walk more than a few steps without using the cane, wall, or myself to keep him afoot.

He still flashes that charming grin religiously, but for the first time since I have known him, he is worried too. We all are...

I don't even care about a diagnosis... he's been a mystery to doctors for years, no one truly understanding what caused the twisting of his knee and leg muscle. No doctor has ever been able to tell us why. I say screw the "why". Just give us some help, a solution, something to help him feel more solid on his feet.

He is such an amazing person... I want him to always be able to wrestle with his nephews in the living room floor, scare the crap out of me on the four wheeler, and head to his favorite fishing hole whenever his heart desires. I want him to have that freedom...

Maybe in a few days we'll have some answers... or at least a start.

Prayers, positive thoughts, and both fingers crossed....

am i my own worst enemy?

"And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." - Sylvia Plath.

I think the biggest wall I face when blogging is the fear that my thoughts and words are useless to anyone but myself... why present it in a public place? There are such things has journals (you know, those books with blank pages that you actually write upon without using a keyboard. Their existence seem so very foreign in this computer crazy age)

The topic of why people blog is often covered by other bloggers (go figure!), and everyone sort of has their own take on why they let their hearts bleed out on the net.

I personally think it's a way to connect with others (so that we don't feel so alone), an easy access record of our own thoughts and memories, as well as an outlet for vanity. Yes, all humans possess some iota of vanity. Even you! ;)

No matter the reason, the analysis of why only keeps me at bay. I want to have the guts to be honest, even when sharing the most mundane, silly, seemingly insignificant moments of MY life.

Over-analysis and self-doubt will imprison any writer, so I should probably end this post as quickly as it began...

GAME ON (TAKE 2!)

I created this blog back in the fall, under a different name mind you. I tried my damnedest to keep it updated, but as usual I lost interest and the page sat idle and alone for many months.

Luckily, life has a funny way of randomly injecting you with inspiration... a need to write, type, scream, laugh... all in front of an audience. Of course, often times this audience is simply a glowing computer screen and a blinking cursor. But hey, I'll take whatever I can get these days!

Regardless, I have returned, and am bound and determined to truly use this space on a regular basis.

My inspiration? I'm a country gal now!! Really!

Ahh, who am I kidding?? I know, I know... you can take the girl out of the city, but you can't take the city out of the girl.

It's an adventure, one that I am ready for, and need more than anything in the world...