blue sunday.

This is such a lazy Sunday... which I normally would love, but today I'm just restless. I have too much on my mind, and whenever I begin to relax, my synapses fire and remind me that there are things, BIG things to worry about.

For those of you who don't know, I am currently unemployed. I quit my job at the beginning of June, and considering the state of the economy it would seem to be a terribly stupid decision on my part. But, no one can understand what I was going through, and while I have no intentions of going into any details here, I will say that I reached a breaking point to which there was no going back or moving forward. I am at peace with my decision, and am doing my best to face the consequences of my actions.

I have applied for countless jobs, and each week is a mix of applications, phone calls, and hoping and praying that a door will open, even if it's just a crack. I have days where I feel exhausted and defeated, and the thought of doing it all again the next day seems so damned depressing. But, I have to have faith that something good will happen... it has to.

My blog title includes the statement: "happy and hanging by a thread." There is so much truth in those words, because even with my current state of stress and anxiety, I am happy, and for that I am lucky and thankful.

But enough of that... I hear thunder in the distance, and am looking forward to the rain it will inevitably bring, even if it's just a brief downpour. Perhaps it's time for a book and nap, both suitable for a lazy Sunday.